Round 1: Pyrexiah v Mynx
Folks, this one was over before it started… Mynx fired first with a quick claws attack, but after that it was all Pyrexiah all the time. She immediately fired back with an ice sword wrapped in fire, followed by a frozen right cross and an Equinox blast. Mynx staggered back, desperately trying to heal from the damage and prepare a counterattack, but Pyrexiah pressed the attack. Seconds later, after a storm of ice and fire, Mynx’s steaming body lay on the ground, and Pyrexiah prepared for the next round.
Winner: Pyrexiah

Round 1: Statesman v Snowslide
Statesman is regarded by most as the epitome of what a tanker can do! From the start, Snowslide must have known he was outclassed, running away from the up close and personal toe to toe fight – but Statesman dragged him right back down and pounded him with Zeus’ Lightning Bolt. Snowslide ran away again, turning on his Personal Force Field and building up his Glacial Shift. Meanwhile, Statesman let fly with a Knockout Blow – nailing Snowslide despite both the force field and a bunch of defensive dodging! Snowslide let fly a few times with his Glacial Shift and Blocks of Ice, but Statesman would just shake them off and keep going. When Statesman started to Resist Elements, it brought a tear to Snowslide’s eye. After that, a couple of Jabs and Snowslide was a useless puddle!
Winner: Statesman

Round 1: Ms Liberty vs Lighthouse
My friends, you many not want to watch this match. Even Ms Liberty herself is embarrassed to be fighting the matronly Lighthouse, but that’s the task before her today. The only real question is how long can Lighthouse last behind her force fields. We begin as expected with Lighthouse floating to distance and sweeping that Shield of Light across Ms Liberty’s eyes, but the strikes keep coming from the young lady. Silo is here, clearly helping her patron, but the additional force fields are just being slapped away just like Lighthouse’s personal field. We’re almost done here… Oh goodness! It’s a Freakshow Tanker! It’s the PwNxXorZ!! What is he doing here? And why isn’t Ms Liberty fighting him? Good grief, Lighthouse is almost out on her feet, but she’s going to try to deal with this monstrosity on her own as Ms Liberty presses her attack! How can the old woman possibly hold on? WAIT!! He’s down! The PsNxXorZ is down and his energy is sweeping into Lighthouse and Ms Liberty! Look at the matron of Paragon – light is pouring from her! My goodness, I’ve never seen anything so bright! The women have renewed their clash, but now the energy is spilling from Lighthouse into Ms Liberty. Back and forth! It looks like the force fields are slowing down Liberty just enough…. YES! She’s down, and Lighthouse has done what NO ONE thought she could do! It’s an upset literally for the ages, as Lighthouse shows the youngster a thing or two about being a hero!
Winner: Lighthouse

Round 1: Fusillade v Chain Reaction
It looks like Fusillade missed the starting bell… Chain Reaction started by turning on the Radiation Infection, clearly hoping to gain style points for a cool looking aura. After that, he started making Fusillade bounce like a super ball, with a combination of Lifts, Propels, and Crushing Fields – many fueled by his Critical Reactor. Fusillade was tossed around so often he couldn’t figure out which way was up! Before it was all over he squeezed off a solid Fireball and somehow managed to point it the right way, but Chain Reaction answered with a final Critical Reactor-Crushing Field one-two combo – leaving Fusillade lying in the dust watching the world spin around him…
Winner: Chain Reaction

Round 1: Dynamique vs Flower Knight
By Sabrina Mulholland J’jones
In one of the most frightening upsets I personally have seen in my time in Paragon City, today, Flower Knight obliterated Dynamique from the Hero Madness Challenge. Long considered a weak opponent, Flower Knight’s supporters tried to get her to not even volunteer to participate in the Hero Madness Challenge, but much to that spunky young girl’s credit, she stepped up BIG time! The opening volley fired by Flower Knight took Dynamique by surprise, almost as if Dynamique was moving in slow motion. Before Dynamique could raise her personal force shield, and move back to recover, Flower Knight was on her, trapping her in a field of caltrops. Dynamique fought back as best she could, but it was a foregone conclusion after a few seconds. It was as if Flower Knight was a woman possessed, fighting with a viciousness that had never been seen in the generally nice young woman. Here’s to Flower Knight for pulling off what was probably the most amazing upset of the first round. This reporter looks forward to seeing her progress from round two to round three and possibly to the final four!
Winner: Flower Knight

Round 1: Stygian v Hero 1
This was a rough fight to the bitter end, folks! Hero 1 came out Brawling and Barraging, going for an early lead. Stygian tried to return the favor, but wasn’t having much impact because Hero 1 had some Aid From the Fae. Blue Chill tagged in on Hero 1’s side, slowing Stygian down even more! It was looking bad for Stygian, when suddenly Hailstone came in to save him from a major blow! Then, Stygian used a fancy bit of Dark Regeneration to drain both Hero 1 and Blue Chill and claim that health for his own – putting him back in the fight! They started trading blows back and forth – Hero 1 relying on pumped up Brawls and Barrages to lay on the hurt while using Blue Chill and Aid from the Fae to slow Stygian down, and Stygian returning the favor with a steady stream of Shadow Punches, Touches of Fear, a little more Dark Regeneration, and damage From Beyond while making sure Hero 1 couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. In the end, it finally came down to the sidekicks – Blue Chill slowed Stygian down a lot, but Hailstone’s selfless act sacrificing himself to a final devastating Brawl bought Stygian just enough time to finish of Hero 1 with an enhanced Touch of Fear. Though barely on his feet and badly in need of rest, Stygian was the one to stagger out of the arena as the victor!
Winner: Stygian

Round 1: Polar Star v Lady Grey
The cold bite of a chill wind told Lady Grey that her opponent had arrived, and she slipped into the shadows as her sole preparation. Frozen mists swirling at her feat, Polar Star began sending blast after freezing blast into the shadows, determined to strike the dark mistress, but her attacks found nothing more than a somber laugh from Lady Grey. With frustration rising, and with arctic storms whipping around her, Polar Star howled like the wind and launched snow, icicles and frozen rain into the darkness…with no effect.
“Is that it? Is that all you have brought to our dance?” the voice slipped from the shadows over the exhausted Polar Star. “Then here is my response to your invitation…” The very shadows themselves reached out to Polar Star, hammering away at her defenses, driving her to her knees. Gasping for breath, Polar star desperately reached up to deflect what would surely be the final blow, but it did not come. “I don’t think I’ll bother finishing this, myself. It seems our little tryst has brought some unwanted attention. Enjoy!” Knowing too well what the heavy footsteps and clanking metal must mean, Polar star tried in vain to pull herself to her feet, but could only stare as the PwNXxorZ turned the corner and advanced towards her.
Winner: Lady Grey

Round 1: Wasteland v Radstorm
This one went pretty well as expected, gang. Radstorm looked over at the nigh-invulnerable Wasteland and began toggling on as many green glows as he could get his hands on. Wasteland simply glared balefully at Radstorm shrugging of a pair insignificant Xray Beams that barely singed Wasteland, even though Radstorm had clearly beefed up the damage behind them. In fact, Wasteland only took enough time to punch a pair of Tsoo mages who wandered by (a victory which clearly inspired Wasteland to greater feats) before he stepped up to Radstorm. Why isn’t he attacking? Is he afraid of the radiation? No! It’s Stratosphere swooping in from the rooftops, and knocking Radstorm aside with a single focused blast. Radstorm’s defenses are down, and Wasteland is going to work on him! Lefts, rights lefts… oh, the humanity! Somebody stop him!!
Winner: Wasteland

Round 1: Positron vs Serpent Drummer
Green. That’s the color that the Serpent Drummer will see in his nightmares for months! This was a close match, to be sure, but with each green glow that surrounded him, the snake man’s attacks came slower and slower, softer and softer, until it was simple for Positron to bob and weave through the air, avoiding many of the Drummer’s rim-shots. We knew going in that this would be a drawn-out match with each side able to heal, and both focused on dealing a variety of blows, rather than the single devastating attack. In the end, Positron simply attacked faster and hit harder than the Serpent Drummer, using a simple one-two of neutrino bolts and Xray Beams from his friggin eyes! Drummer was able to quickly heal the first half dozen glowing green blows, but then it because obvious that with all of his attention focused to recovering from his wounds, that he would never mount the offense he would need to win the match. From there, it was only a matter of time…
Winner: Positron

Round 1: Trajectory vs Bottle Rocket
In a battle of archers, Bottle Rocket found herself in a “sticky situation”. At the opening bell, it felt that there was immediately glue arrows flying everywhere and the young lady was immediately covered in the goo. With no where to run and unable to bob and weave away from the objects being hurled at her head, it seemed to be only a matter of time before Trajectory would be declared the victor. While ‘the rocketess’ got off a rain of sparkling energy and a couple well aimed arrow shots, she simply couldn’t extricate herself from the sticky substance to fire fast enough. This was a virtuoso performance by Trajectory – never really giving his opponent a chance to get going. His opponent in the 2nd round better be ready!
Winner: Trajectory

Round 1: Aesir v Sister Psyche
Today’s match was another one-sided battle. Sister Psyche quickly pulled back to Run and Gun, leaving Glitterdance to try holding off Aesir’s mad axe action. Psyche tried to distract Aesir with a bit of Mindrider trickery, but Atomic Arrow stepped forward – and then a bit sideways, staggering confused from taking the brunt of it. Aesir immediately followed up with a mighty Chop of his battle axe! Unfortunately for Sister Psyche, that pretty much set the tone for the battle. She would Dominate, Levitate, and go Mindriding, but Aesir simply ignored her mind games as he kept Chopping and Beheading, cutting down Glitterdance then felling Sister Psyche.
Winner: Aesir

Round 1: Flux vs Somber Warrior
Bright lights, big city… no longer! This matchup featured the flashy Flux versus the understated but relentless Somber Warrior. With his megawatt smile gleaming, Flux started things off with his trademark electrical attacks sparking and flashing across the caltrops, making a web of light across the battleground. But that web hardly slowed the Somber Warrior. Taking on the role of “playa hater”, the somber one marched methodically towards Flux. Almost dismissive of the flashing attacks from his opponents, Somber Warrior let the darkness overwhelm the light before unleashing his own attacks. A maul to the chest, a haymaker to the side of the head, and then a barrage of punches into Flux’s chest each brought down the lights that had shone so brightly. Seconds later… there was only darkness.
Winner: Somber Warrior

Round 1: Manticore v Caldera
Did you know that arrows tend to burn in fire? The real question is how long they can last in the type of inferno that a super like Caldera can raise up around herself. Apparently the answer is… not very long! Manticore clearly has brought a gameplan for this matchup, bobbing and weaving away from the firey lass, but she simply continues stalking towards him, brushing aside the arrows and more arrows of outrageous fortune Manticore sends her way. Now glue stacks upon ice and acid… this is amazing display of technology and accuracy as Manticore simply piles up the attacks while Caldera has only gotten a single blow. It’s looking like the archer’s strategy is going to… OMIGOODNESS! What a punch!! Manticore is down and he’s not getting up! From a lady known for her speed, an AMAZING strike that has dropped Paragon’s most eligible bachelor in the space of a heartbeat!
Winner: Caldera

Round 1: Nightstrike v Conductress
“It’ll be a cold time, in the old town, tonight!”
That’ll be the new version of the song after Conductress shows that Ice is Nice! Nightstrike began the battle with a snicker-snack of his claws before Conductress could get far enough away, but everything after that was a struggle for the night walker. Soon, the temperature in the arena dropped another 50 degrees as Glitterdance showed up to help her frozen friend. Knowing that his night was going to be long and cold, Nightstrike began slashing away at the frozen Glitterdance, but was constantly engulfed in frost and electrical zaps that sapped his speed and strength. The darkness that he so favors soon engulfed him, and Nightstrike collapsed at the feet of Conductress and Glitterdance.
Winner: Conductress

Round 1: Regulus V Infernal
On paper this is a great match up folks. Regulus has the kind of defense that can slow Infernal down but if Infernal gets rolling watch out it could be over quickly.
Both heroes come out a little tentative sizing up the opponent and getting ready for the first big blow. It looks like Infernal’s game plan is heating up first! He gets Beheader and Whirling axe going and starts throwing monster blows. Regulus counters with active dodge and bob and weave and sidekick Shadowcrane lands the first damaging blow to Infernal – a little damage and he’s stunned!!
Infernal keeps the hits coming with Chop and Gash. Regulus survives the first round of powerful attacks and scrambles to find some defense before Infernal recharges and comes at him again. Looks like he’s not gonna make it… Regulus better call a T.O. baby!!!!
Too much offense and Infernal moves on in a landslide.
Winner: Infernal

Round 1: Synapse v Tricksie
This wasn’t the longest match of round 1, but it tried. Very quickly the electrical blasts of Synapse had Tricksie gasping for breath. But our Tricksie – she’s a survivor, and when Silo showed up to help her suddenly things weren’t so bleak. Several electrical blasts went wide of their target (occasionally hitting Silo), and with Synapse being bounced off the ceiling and the walls, it looked like we were seeing a classic Tricksie comeback. But in the end, the match was clearly over when Glitterdance lept in front of Synapse to take the brunt of a Mindshaft and the Ball Lightning counterattack dropped Silo from the fight. With no more tricks left up her sleeve, Tricksie soon succumbed to Synapse’s electrical blasts.
Winner: Synapse

Round 2: Pyrexiah v Statesman
Flash fire and insta-ice! Simulteneously with the starting bell, Pyrexiah is unleashing attack after attack at Statesman with heat, frost and those concussive punches of hers, but… nothing? Really? Statesman hardly seems to have noticed. This is a pummeling that dropped Mynx almost instantly and Statesmen seems completely resistant to the elemental attacks! My goodness, can nothing hurt Statesman? Oh, the rest of this fight seems like a formality! Yes, there it is… a series of punches and Pyrexiah is put to the ground…
Winner: Statesman

Round 2: Chain Reaction v Lighthouse
Our Cinderella story from round 1 now steps into the ring against the “green machinegun”. It’s looking like Chain Reaction is taking this match VERY seriously. Clearly he doesn’t want to end up as the next notch in the “Matron of Paragon’s” list of upsets. It’s a series of 1-2 punches from Chain Reaction and Lighthouse is throwing every forcefield she can muster at them. It seems to be working, but Chain Reaction is relentless! How much more can she take? The cracks are starting to show… and… she’s down! Lighthouse is down. She put up a valient effort and the crowd is so appreciative, but I’m afraid the clock has struck midnight for this Cinderella.
Winner: Chain Reaction

Round 2: Flower Knight v Stygian
Flower Knight goes into no fight alone, always flanked by the nebulous form of her ancestor ready to protect her. She’s beginning the fight by spreading caltrops around the arena – clearly this is a favorite move of hers. Stygian does seem to too concerned with it – he’s standing in the middle of them… not moving… gathering the shadows around himself. He’s harder and harder to see now, while Flower Knight is firing arrow after arrow into the darkness. She sends her ancestor in to attack Stygian, and that’s gotten his attention! He leaps up and through the incoming apparition, clearly unfazed by the ancient attacker. Trailing whisps of darkness, he lands beside Flower Knight and begins raining down blow after blow. Her ancestor rushes to her side, but it’s too late… the darkness envelops her.
Winner: Stygian

Round 2: Lady Grey v Wasteland
Which will move first? They’re both still standing there, staring at each other, building their strength. Clearly neither wants to make the first move and show their intent, but one of the will have to attack, won’t they? The air is crackling with excitement as the darkness meets the ice and the two warriors charge simultaneously! After the pause to begin the fight, the action is FURIOUS, now! Blow after blow falls upon each combatant, axe and dark bolts flung back and forth. The blows from Lady Grey clearly aren’t punishing Wasteland the way she’s used to doing, so can she possibly feed off of his energy as much as she needs to? He’s barely scratched by her attacks, but the biting cuts he inflicts on the dark lady are likewise disappearing quickly. Back and forth they go with each hitting harder and harder. They both begin to visibly tire, but neither will relent. Finally, the damage begins to show on each of them as the attacks start to overwhelm their defenses… Who will drop first? Can the Lady hold out long enough to finally chop down the massive northerner? YES! He’s down. Lady Grey can hardly stand, but she’s defeated Wasteland!
Winner: Lady Grey

Round 2: Positron v Trajectory
Unable to fly around the arena with gravity enhanced by Trajectory, the favorite in this match will have to slow down his opponent just as much! That seems to be his plan – right from the opening whistle there are 1… no two… no three different green glows around Trajectory. Trajectory is moving ridiculously slowly now! An old women could hit this hero, now! Trajectory may not be moving much, but Positron is flopping around like a rag doll! He’s being bounced of of the ground, a wall, and even a city bus! That armor of his is taking a pounding and he doesn’t seem able to heal it away! Still, he keeps firing those green bolts of his from his hands, his eyes, and any other part of his body, it seems! Positron’s been tossed into a tub full of glue, and now he’s moving just as slowly as Trajectory. This match is moving like molasses! Your intrepid announcer would look like Synapse compared to these two. Now that Positron can’t get out of the way so quickly, Trajectory has grasped him in a gravity field and is firing arrows into him over and over. But Positron doesn’t seem to care – he’s broken free from the field and he’s just going to keep firing those bolts… and Trajectory is finished! This wasn’t a pretty win, or the height of tactical brilliance, but they all count, and Positron advances to the final 8!
Winner: Positron

Round 2: Caldera v Conductress
Fire and Ice baby! I’m Bobby McCaulkin here from the Paragon Arena where we’ve got the battle for the thermometer! That’s right folks, I write my own material… Fire versus Ice, we can call this the struggle for steam. The ladies are here and they’re ready to rumble, so we take you down to the action…
Caldera starts things off by building up speed, leaving a ring of fire in her wake… whack! Ouch, that had to hurt! Caldera ran into a frozen wall and is now held in place by Conductresses’ ice. Caldera is burning away the frozen shackles, but Conductress is simply using the pool of water to her advantage, firing blast after blast of electricity into the water, shocking Caldera to her core! This seems so very one-sided! Will Caldera fight back? She’s speeding up again, bobbing and weaving away from Conductress! Her speed keeps increasing, faster and faster, as she circles around Conductress who keeps firing out ice and sparks to slow down her opponent. Caldera’s isn’t just circling, she’s spiraling in! She’s tightening the noose! OH! There it is!! Caldera is fighting back, and how! Punishing blow after punishing blow! Conductress can’t handle it – she’s down! Dear me, Caldera has found a recipe for success, my friends — this is the second fight in a row that she’s built up for a single big attack to drop her opponent…
Winner: Caldera

Round 2: Synapse v Infernal
Okay, today’s match will feature… OHMIGOD! He’s down! Synapse is down and he’s not getting back up!! This is a new knockout speed record for the Hero Madness tournament, folks! Infernal simply charged right at Synapse, and started hacking away at him with that blazing axe of his. Synapse tried to slow down the assault with attacks of his own, but that only seemed to infuriate Infernal and increase the pace of his attacks. My goodness what a barrage!
Winner: Infernal

Round 2: Aesir v Somber Warrior
Mismatch of the century folks. In just a few actions, Aesir had reduced Somber Warrior to a pile of dark gooey body parts…however, before he could deliver a knockout blow, Somber Warrior hit him with combo that literally sapped his strength, and Aesir couldn’t fight back quick enough! Aesir sat there watching Somber Warrior sap all of his energy and will to fight, and struggled to be able to do SOMETHING! His consciousness fading as each second ticked by Aesir reached deep inside, into something primal…and exploded out of the dark grip of Somber Warrior, landing a punch that would have leveled Odin himself! Poor Somber Warrior…even he knew he didn’t stand a chance. Thankfully he was able to extricate himself from the wall of the Arena with minimal damage.
Winner: Aesir

Round 3: Lady Grey v Stygian
Honestly, we’re simply not sure how anyone can be expected to watch the action of this fight, my friends. The darkness is swirling around these two so fast that there’s just very little that we can see! Well… we know that Stygian uses the darkness as actual armor, so I suppose that the extra dark shadows are his? Okay. Let’s assume that. Well, the dark dark is attacking the shadowy dark. And… um… I think he hit. It hit. Can someone get my agent on the phone? This is ludicrous! How can a professional be expected to work under these conditions? I mean really… Okay, I saw a wisp of silk, so I think that the shadows are Lady Grey. Maybe. Anyhow, the shards of darkness are clashing again. It looks like the dark darkness is staggering back… it’s Stygian! It’s definitely him! Oh. Um… he doesn’t seem to be moving…
Winner: Lady Grey

Round 3: Statesman v Chain Reaction
Greetings, fight fans! Today we enter the quarter finals, with our first matchup being the savior of Paragon City – Statesman, versus the master of disaster – Chain Reaction! Our analysts tell us that today’s match will come down to whether Chain Reaction can string together the consecutive attacks he needs to take down the big fella. Clearly, the quick strikes that he used to get to the quarter final won’t be enough to take out a beast like Statesman, so it’ll have to be a strategy of ever-increasing blasts from Chain Reaction if he hopes to continue on.
And we begin! Statesman is marching across the arena towards Chain Reaction… that’s strange… he isn’t charging, or building up an attack. He’s just – he’s just stalking him! Chain Reaction is moving around, trying to build up some extra distance as he begins firing blasts at the big target on Statesman’s chest. But it’s not slowing him down. Or much of anything. Clearly, the bolts are having SOME effect, but Statesman isn’t showing it! He just keeps stalking – closing on Chain Reaction. No rush. No hurry in our boy Statesman. He keeps stalking Chain Reaction who is clearly losing his focus. He’s never seen his attacks simply ignored like this. He’s in a frenzy now as he’s run out of room to run. Statesman has got him in a corner… he’s closing in… Punch! Lightning Bolt! Knockout blow!! That’s it! Chain Reaction is down in a smoldering pile, and Statesman simply keeps on walking…
Winner: Statesman

Round 3: Positron vs Aesir
The phrase “A fight for the ages” tends to get thrown around quite a bit. Overused. Diminished. Which makes it so hard when a battle like this one comes around. Two massive heroes at the height of their powers clashing for nothing more than pride and pushing each other to the very limit of their abilities. And only one is able to leave the arena as the victor, though neither leaves defeated.
This battle started out cautiously, with both heroes sending tentative attacks towards their opponent, but mostly building in strength and not wanting to overextend themselves on offense. Every time Positron fired a bolt of radiation towards the norseman, Aesir used the blood of his ancestors to shrug it off. Likewise, the great cleaves of the norse battleaxe always seemed to find empty air when Positron simply made sure in a flash of charged radiation that he wasn’t anywhere near the attack. Back and forth like this, the battle ranged, each of these heroes eventually being slowed by the relentlessness of his opponent’s attacks, until the audience could finally start to see the toll being taken. Scorchmarks started to appear across Aesir’s chest and Positron’s armor began to leak green energy through the cracks that appeared in his battered armor. Not even burts of radiation aura could seal Positron’s shattered armor as he was belted again and again by the massive warrior’s axe. He must have known that his protective suit couldn’t hold together much longer, because that’s when Positron decided to make a final push to stop his foe. With Blasts from his hands, visor and even closing in for a punch laced with green energy, Positron’s suit finally gave up and powered down to emergency containment mode… The suit stopped moving completely, unable to continue and an easy target… but still standing…
Standing over his fallen foe.
Winner: Positron

Semifinals Results: Positron v Infernal

Infernal charges in! He’s hacking away with that fiery axe of his. Positron is swooping out of the way, using his flight ability to stay just out of the way of that nasty edge, and using his ability to turn back time when it looks just a little too close for comfort! And Positron’s already got Infernal covered in that green smoke of radiation. Maybe this match will last longer than the 6 seconds Infernal’s matches have been averaging…

Infernal has gotten a few hits in, but he’s clearly getting frustrated by the overcharging and the green bursts of healing that are just stalemating his attacks. In fact, I don’t remember a single attack by Positron. No, that’s right, he’s been completely defensive so far, focusing on building his strength without getting into range of that nasty axe. Well, he certainly can’t win if he never attacks, right? Right?

Infernal is in a complete rage at this point – he’s clearly frustrated that he can’t use his devastating counterattack, but that’s clearly been Positron’s strategy from the beginning. Infernal stops chasing his armored foe for a moment to catch his breath… THERE it is! A green bolt of energy from Positron, but Infernal is too far away to capitalize. Oh, this is brilliant tactics from Positron, my friends. He’s toying with his opponent now. He’s completely in control of this matchup and it’s simply a matter of time. This may take a while… yep… it’s taking a while… sure is… taking a while… there’s a second attack… right… sooo… anybody seen a good movie recently? Yeah, me neither… okay… yep… flying away… overcharge again… I wonder if he’s able to use that “turn back time” ability to fast forward us to the end… another energy attack… an thunderous axe attack – healed away again… so… um… okay. Infernal’s down. Yep. It’s over. I need a sandwich…
Winner: Positron

Semifinals Results: Statesman v Lady Grey

The first two minutes of this matchup, you couldn’t tell if either of them actually intended to fight. Slowly, they circled each other around the arena, their eyes locked as if they had mental powers and were planning to battle it out in their minds. But these two heroes rely on their fists to do the damage, so why aren’t they in the middle scrapping away? Please – someone tell them they’re supposed to be fighting!

Statesman strides in first, crossing the distance between them in only two strides, pummeling the dark mistress of Paragon with a pair of heavy blows. My goodness is this fight over already? No, she’s back on her feet, staring at the big man. There are tendrils of darkness wisping off of her and stroking the edges of Statesman’s costume. They seem to be having very little effect on him, but they’re clearly bringing Lady Grey back to her feet as strong as she was before. Back again, the big man starts with a series of punishing blows – jabs, punches, haymakers and a bolt of lightning from above all rain down on Lady Grey. In this fight, she’s not hiding in the shadows – she’s just waiting for Statesman to attack her again. My goodness, she’s teasing him? Who is crazy enough to taunt this monster? She’s been beaten to her knees, but still she mocks him? He’s closing in to finish her off… she’s reached out to touch him and Statesman staggers back – the dark tendrils lift her quickly off the ground and her laugh is sending shivers down my spine! She simply will not drop! I’ve never seen a hero take this much punishment, but she’s simply laughing it off – feeding on that darkness…

Statesman’s clearly breathing heavily now – I can’t tell if it’s all of the attacks or if that darkness is sapping his strength. I haven’t seen a single attack from Lady Grey that he seemed to even notice, but perhaps they’re all adding up. She’s chopping down the big tree with a nail file! He’s down on one knee now, and she is sliding up next to him. Oh dear, what a smile on her face – she’s clearly enjoying this. She leans down… and plants a kiss on top of Statesman’s head! He crumples to the ground! He’s down! He’s down! The big man is down! He’s not getting up… our winner is…

Winner: Lady Grey